August 30, 2024

Hello again. I come this month, bearing not news, but a thought. I had a discussion with my therapist about what I wanted to do with my life. I’m not very good at thinking ahead. Recently I’ve been focusing on trying to survive the here and now rather than thinking about what comes after. Most of the time I try to actively avoid it because it feels incredibly daunting. What comes after the gas station? Where do I live if I can’t keep living in my grandma's backyard? I can’t afford the rent of an actual apartment on what I make at the gas station. As I’ve stated many times, I probably wouldn’t be alive if the owner didn’t ignore me stealing food and drinks. I have a little bit of money saved up, but nowhere near enough to move anywhere. 

After a short conversation with my therapist, she told me that she thought I would be a good writer. She likes what I’ve written in my journal, even though it’s some pretty personal stuff. She said “You are a person with an interesting writing style and a unique perspective. I genuinely think if you put in the effort, you can publish something someday.” 

Upon reflection, I really do enjoy these journal entries. If I can channel the feelings, experiences, and emotions I put down here into a story then maybe I could try and look into what it takes to publish something. I also think I’d like to post these online someday. I’m not too incredibly tech savvy, so I’d ask Tish to help me figure out how to set up a blog or something. I think it’d be nice to connect with others who have similar thoughts and experiences. It’d be a good way to feel less alone, and I might be able to help others feel less alone as well. 

I like the idea of it the more I think about it, so I’ll talk to Tish about it at some point. Other than that, I don’t really have anything else to add to this entry. It’s a bit shorter so I’m sorry about that. 

See you next month, friend. 

-Hope

Sorry! I was a little distracted thinking about the future. I forgot to update you on the Ellis situation. We’ve been on some dates over the last month. He brought me some flowers at work, a nice and very welcome surprise. I really like him! He’s brought a lot of joy into my life. Okay, I woke up in the middle of my sleep to write this because I thought it would be good to document that someone likes me, but I’m going to go back to sleep now. 

-Hope